Daddy
by Trash-Pile
Summary: Sokka is fed up with what horrible parents Zuko has and offers to be his new dad... and mom... a dom. WAIT!


**A/N:** From the tumblr prompt "i'm gonna be your dad now. and your mom. you're… dom. WAIT SHIT NO"

(( sereniv . tumblr post/127538700901/punk-frank-punk-frank-one-time-i-was)

Figured I'd take a break from a surprise to work on a one-shot. So, of course I have to pick a tumblr prompt.

...

...

This was the life, Sokka decided.

The wind carried the pleasant smell of the ocean and the various fast food restaurants they passed. It made Sokka's mouth water. Maybe he could find a good food stall once they got to the boardwalk. Sokka took a hand off the steering wheel to run through his wind whipped hair. The action, however, was in vain. With the hood of the car down, there was nothing Sokka could do to keep his hair from getting tangled from the salty air. He scolded himself for leaving all his hair ties at home. Sokka supposed he could put the hood back up on the car, but the breeze was a pleasant break from the scorching summer weather. Sokka was drinking in every relaxing moment he could get today. Plus, there were still ten more miles to enjoy.

Yup, perfect.

Not to mention the company. Sokka glanced over to his friend in the passenger seat: Zuko. The older boy had his feet propped up on the dashboard and seat reclined back slightly. He admired the scenery that passed and rocked his head slightly with the beat of the blaring radio. The soft smile on Zuko's lips was the cherry on top.

The two had gone through hell and back those last few months. School finals, SATs, college entrance exams, ex drama, sports competitions, shitty family problems. Oh yeah, it was time for a break. No school. No drama. Nobody but them.

"I ever tell you about the time I tried jumping a fence when I was a kid?" Sokka called over the radio. Even with the radio and wind, Sokka could still hear his companion snort in amusement.

"No, care to share?" Zuko asked playfully.

"Okay, okay," Sokka started as he turned down the radio slightly, "so there I am at my Gran Gran's house, right? And take into account that I was ten. So, there I was with Katara and my Gran Gran just finished making these cookies. They smelled so good. Me, being the ten year old that I was, wanted to eat them right that second."

"Of course," Zuko remarked.

"But I asked my Gran Gran and she tells me 'no'. They're fresh out the oven and gotta cool down. But, my Gran Gran, being the terrifying woman that she is, told me that they were for the Boogieman and if I touched them he'd get me,"

"Boogieman? And you believed her?" the other boy chuckled.

" _Ten_ , okay?" Sokka said, voice cracking slightly. "Anyway! So, yeah, she tells me that and I stay away from them for a while. But they just kept calling to me, y'know? I figured that there were so many, no one would know if it was just one. I grab one and immediately burn my hand. Hurt like a bitch too. Then, Katara comes into the kitchen and she threatened to tell Gran Gran. I got so scared," Sokka laughed. He paused his story in anticipation of laughter. When none came, Sokka assumed Zuko was waiting until the end before he let him really have it.

"I ended up running out the backdoor, screaming something about the boogieman. At this point, Gran Gran and my dad were out of the house and yelling at me to stop. I don't listen to 'em. I go straight for the fence and try to leap over it. Like you see in the movies. Didn't make it. I ended up getting my foot stuck in one of the gaps - it was a chain link fence - and I twist my ankle. After that, my foot came unstuck and I fell face first into my neighbor's backyard. Who, by the way, saw the whole thing from their window. I burned myself, twisted my ankle, swallowed a bunch of dirt, and made a complete fool of myself in front of my family and neighbor. All for a cookie." Sokka laughed.

Okay, this time he should definitely get some laughter. But none came. "I-it wasn't that serious… I'm okay! It's funny now," Sokka insisted, glancing at the other boy. Oh. Zuko stared hard at the flip phone in his hand, expression twisted in anger and exhaustion. "Zuk, you okay?" Sokka asked, glancing between the road and his friend. No response came and Sokka began to worry. " _Zuko_! Earth to Zuko," Sokka called a little louder.

"Hm?" Zuko hummed, snapping out of whatever trance the phone had over him. Zuko snapped the phone shut before immediately stuffing it into his pocket. "Fine," he answered gruffly. He must have noticed his tone was less than convincing. He tacked on, "Really, I'm okay. Wh-what were you saying? You burned yourself?"

As much as Sokka wanted to leave the stress behind today and pretend nothing was wrong, he couldn't let Zuko silently worry himself to death. "Nu-uh, tell me what happened. What's wrong?" Sokka asked, now turning the radio off completely.

"It's nothing," he hissed. It reminded Sokka of the old days when Zuko was more unbridled rage than person.

He would not be having any of that. The younger boy stayed silent as he did his best to stare hard at his friend while occasionally looking at the road. After a moment, Zuko finally cracked. The boy heaved a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. The hand stayed entangled in those locks a moment before tugging at the hair in obvious distress. "Uncle texted me. He said my dad called,"

"From jail?"

"Yeah, apparently. Or maybe it was one of his lawyers?"

"Well… what'd he want?" Sokka prodded. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been good. Ozai had been arrested only a few months prior when his abuse became a public scandal. And it only took almost killing his son and sending him to the hospital to do it, Sokka noted with bitterness. Guess verbal abuse, neglect, manipulation, and scarring your own kid once already wasn't a big enough deal. Sokka had to force himself to loosen his grip on the steering wheel and stop grinding his teeth. Now was not the time. Right now, it was time to comfort Zuko.

The older boy was silent a while and pulled his feet off the dashboard. "He wants Azula to testify against some of the charges. Lessen his sentence with character evidence or something?" Zuko mumbled.

Of all the shit…. "She's not gonna do it, is she?" he asked with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"I don't know," Zuko said simply. His tone sounded as though he had just admitted defeat. "Hopefully not? I mean, Azula was put through the same shit as I was, but Ozai always had her wrapped around his finger. She'd jump off a cliff if he asked her," Zuko stated sadly. After a pause he whispered, "If she does this, and the whole thing works, he might get away with just some court ordered counseling and a couple weeks in jail."

Sokka's brain slowed at the revelation. His fried mind became stuck on one fact. "Huh… your dad is _really_ awful,"

"Yeah, no kidding,"

"No, I mean like really, really awful. Like, a piece of jerky could have been a better parent than that guy. You'd think after putting you and your sister through so much shit, he'd know when to give it up. But no, instead he's gonna try to wriggle out of it like everything else. He'll probably twist this to make himself look like a damn martyr," Sokka ranted, feeling a renewed wave of anger. "You deserve better. A better life, a better family, better parents" Sokka concluded, nodding to himself.

"Hey, my mother wasn't bad,"

"She _left_ you, Zuko! She knew what Ozai was like and left you and Azula alone with him."

Zuko looked as though he wanted to argue, but remained silent. Sokka, still fuming, began listing off all the things that would have made better parents. Thirty people and ten inanimate objects later, Sokka had a new train of thought. "Hell, I could have been a better parent! In fact..." Sokka trailed off, stroking his chin before addressing Zuko once more, "I'm going to be your dad now. And your mom. Your dom!"

As the words left his mouth, Sokka realized his mistake. "Wait shit no," Sokka yelled, eyes growing wide and a hot blush spreading across his face. Zuko doubled over in a fit of hysterical laughter. The boy couldn't believe his friend's idiocy. When he sat up straight again, Zuko face was red from laughter and tears prickled the corners of his eyes. Sokka couldn't help the smile of his own. Sure, he made an idiot of himself - like that was unusual - but it made Zuko feel better. Mission accomplished he guessed.

Finally, Zuko began to regain his composure. The laughter died down to nothing but a few broken giggles every couple of seconds. After another calming breath, Zuko turned to Sokka with a mischievous smile. "Daddy?"

The jerk of the car was so abrupt, Zuko almost toppled out of his seat and into Sokka's lap. The younger boy had swerved off the road and came to a sudden stop on the shoulder. Zuko was too startled to speak, so he just stared at his friend. Sokka seemed to be getting over his own surprise when he whipped his head around to look his companion in the eye. "Don't ever say that again," Sokka commanded seriously. At the other boy's silence, Sokka erupted into a full blown lecture, "Do you see what you just did?! I could have crashed! We could have died! You don't say shit like that! Not to me or anyone. Especially anyone else. What if you said that to some creepy weirdo? Do you think I want to see your face in the "Missing Persons" section of the newspaper just because you said something stupid like that? No! Look at you, you're too attractive and socially inept to be calling people daddy. Someone will take advantage of you! Not to mention it's inappropriate. It's like some kind of parent fetish thingy. Promise me you'll never say that again."

Zuko stared in befuddlement at the earful he had just received. "Okay," he answered, hoping to appease his friend. Sokka nodded in satisfaction before taking the car out of park and attempting to merge back onto the road. A sudden idea came to Zuko. With a deadpan expression he asked, "Can I turn the radio back on, daddy?"

" _Dude_ ,"


End file.
